He Had It Coming
by HollyWrites
Summary: These men... they had it coming. They only had themselves to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, we betcha you would've done the same. These are the stories of the deaths of unfaithful, horrid men. Murders? Absolutely. Crimes? Absolutey not.
1. He Only Had Himself To Blame

The song is from Chicago and it's called "The Cell Block Tango"

I was listening to this song in the car and I was like, "Where's that old fic of mine...?" So, hey, guess what? I found it :3

This will be a Crime/Horror fic, and I really hope I can write it okay.

Please, please comment! :)

...

The Hayden's, Ikari's, Ketchum's, Fitzgibbon's, Rocket's and the Oak's walked into a dark room with six tables for each family. They all sat down. They were about to hear some sort of apology from six inmates who had killed their husbands, who happened to be the family's sons.

It was quiet.

Suddenly a tap dripped.

Heavy footsteps thudded.

Nails tapped against metal.

Six spotlights fell on six cages. Inside each cage was a girl with very short black shorts, black fishnet tights, black stiletto heels and an orange singlet shirt with fraying ripped sleeves and collars, each with a small white name tag.

"Pop." the first said.

"Six…"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh!" the fourth said in a Hungarian accent.

"Goldenrod…"

"Oak."

"And now… the six merry murderesses of the Pallet County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango…" a suave and deep voice said clearly.

"Pop."

"Six…"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh!"

"Goldenrod…"

"Oak."

"Pop."

"Six…"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh!"

"Goldenrod…"

"Oak."

"Pop."

"Six…"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh!"

"Goldenrod…"

"Oak."

"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it…"

The first girl's cage door opened, and she stepped out, "I betcha you would've done the same!"

Her hair was a soft brown colour and sat in two messy, dirty ponytails. Her white name tag had three letters, "MAY". She walked over to the table where the husband and wife with beautiful green eyes and green hair sat.

"You know how people have those little habits that get you down? …Like Drew… Drew liked to chew gum… No, not chew… pop. So I come home from work this one day, really irritated and looking for a little sympathy, and there's Drew, lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing – no, not chewing. Popping! So I said to Drew, I said, 'You pop that gum one more time…'" she sighed…

"And he did…" she slid on to the table, "So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots…" she ran her hand through Mr Hayden's hair, "Into…his…head…"

The other girls sang along with her again as she got off the table and leant against her cage door.

"He had it coming, he had it coming… He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it, I betcha you would have done the same!"

As the music played, the second cage door opened. Out stepped a girl with blue hair tied up in a high ponytail that was somewhat messy. The pieces of hair that framed her face were slightly knotted and curly. Her white name tag read "DAWN", and she walked over to the table of people with dark eyes and purple hair.

"I met Paul Ikari from Veilstone City about two years ago, and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together." She began to circle the chairs his mother, father and brother.

"He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner… and then I found out… 'Single', he told me? Single. My. Ass. Not only was he married… Oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know?" She slowed her pace, dragging her hands on the back of the chairs.

"So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual… You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic?" she asked, leaning down, two fingers underneath Paul's brother, Reggie's chin.

The girls sang again and Dawn sauntered back and leaned against her cage door.

"He had it coming, he had it coming… He took a flower in its prime! And then he used it, and he abused it! It was a murder, but not a crime!"

The third cage door opened and out stepped a girl with orange hair tied in a messy side ponytail and had blue green eyes. Her white name tag said "MISTY". She walked over to the table where one woman sat.

"So, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up a chicken for dinner, minding my own business, when my husband Ash storms in a jealous rage." She slammed her hands down on the table, making Delia Ketchum jump. "'You been screwing the milkman,' he says. He was crazy! He kept screaming, 'YOU BEEN SCREWING THE MILKMAN!'" she leaned down to Delia's ear and spoke. "Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times…"

As Misty strutted back to her cell door, the other girls sang along with her.

"If you'd of been there, if you'd of seen it, I betcha you would've done the same!"

The music changed from upbeat and raunchy to softer, more European sound. The fourth cage door opened and a girl stepped out. But she was different from the others. Her collar and sleeves were neat, as was her auburn shoulder length hair and fear filled green eyes. Her white name tag said, "LEONA" and she walked over the table where one man sat. He was blonde.

"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires. Lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nam igaz, en artatlan vagyok." She walked hurriedly over to the man, as if pleading with him. Leona was speaking Hungarian. "Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayaranzi de nem ertettek meg!"

The blonde man, Barry's father, asked timidly, "But did you do it?"

Leona swallowed hard. "Uh-uh, not…guilty!"

The fifth cage opened and a girl with brown hair in flicky, messy ponytails stepped out and swaggered over to the table where Giovanni, Silver's father sat alone. Her name tag had four letters written on it. "LYRA".

"My sister, Monica and I had this double act, and my husband, Silver, travelled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five…splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one night we were in Goldenrod, the three of us, boozing and having a few laughs when we run out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Monica and Silver doing Number Seventeen! The Spread Eagle!"

Giovanni gaped as Lyra stepped elegantly onto the table.

"Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands… I even knew they were dead!" she stepped off the table with the help of Dawn and Misty as Leona and May opened the sixth girl's cage door. They all sang again.

"They had it coming!" Lyra sang.

"They had it coming!" the others repeated.

"They had it coming!"

"They had it coming!"

"They had it coming all along!" Lyra sang as the others belted out:

"They took a flower in its prime!"

"I didn't do it!" Lyra promised in song.

"She didn't do it!" the other girls nodded.

"But if I'd done it…"

"But if she'd done it…"

"How could you tell her that she was wrong?" they all sang together.

The sixth girl whose hair was brown as well, and hung loosely from her head, just below her shoulders. She looked somewhat sweet but vicious. She walked over to the table that had the Oak family sitting around it. "LEAF" was inscribed on her name tag.

She placed a hand over her heart and sighed as she sat on the table, crossing one leg over the other. "I loved Gary Oak, more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy… sensitive… a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary… and…" her voice dropped from sweet to sinister. "…Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead!" she jumped of cutely and spun back over with the others and joined them in song.

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!"

"They had it coming!" May, Dawn and Misty sang.

"They had it coming!" Leona, Lyra and Leaf repeated.

"They had it coming!"

"They had it coming!"

"They had it coming!"

"They had it coming!"

"All along!" May, Dawn and Misty chimed.

"All along!" the other girls repeated.

All six girls sang together.

"And they used us! And they abused us! How could you tell us that we were wrong?"

Dawn winked at Reggie seductively and Lyra raised her eyebrows suggestively at Giovanni.

"He had it coming! He had it coming… he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!"

May spoke up, "You pop that gum one more time…"

Dawn scoffed, "Single. My. Ass!"

Misty chuckled, "Ten times!"

Leona swallowed again, "Not guilty!"

Lyra frowned, "The Spread Eagle!"

Leaf smiled cutely at the Oak's, "Artistic differences!"

May slid back into her cage and the door shut. Her spotlight went out. "Pop."

Dawn followed in suit. "Six…"

"Squish." Misty said as she repeated May's and Dawn's actions.

"Uh-uh!" Leona said, shrinking back into her cage. Her spotlight went off, too.

"Goldenrod…" Lyra smirked, walking into her cage as the door shut and light went off.

Leaf walked back into her cage. Her door shut. She lifted her head and looked Professor Oak dead in the eye.

"Oak."

Her light went off.

...

DID YOU LIKE IT? I LIKED IT!

The Hungarian translation is: What am doing here? They say my famous lover held down my husband while I chopped off his head. But it isn't true, I am innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain it at the police station but they didn't understand me.

Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Comment!


	2. Pop

"Mrs Hayden – hurry up – this paperwork was due yesterday, Hayden – _yesterday_!" her boss screeched at her again. "You're so God damned useless sometimes!"

May held her head low. "Yes, Mrs Harper."

She heard her boss's heels click away furiously, and May dared to look up. Mrs Harper's tight, sandy bun turned a corner and May dropped her head onto her desk. She heard the woman next to her – Solidad, who had been working there a little longer than she had – sigh.

"She's just a little upset, May, don't take it personally. You're doing fine."

Though Solidad's pity just agitated May even more. She ran her hands through her hair and she dug her nails into her scalp. She looked at the framed picture of her husband on his desk. He had grassy green hair and green eyes. The photo had been taken a few weeks before. Drew, her husband, was grinning, a can of beer in his hand. He stood in front of his shotgun that hung on the wall. May almost smiled at the elated look on his face, but the fact that just in the corner of his grin, just slightly visible in his teeth was a piece of bright pink chewing gum made her scowl.

How she hated the fact he always had a piece of chewing gum in his mouth.

But it wasn't the chewing that annoyed her. He didn't chew noisily, and she quite liked the taste it left in his mouth.

It was the popping.

The bubbles he'd blow. The _pop_ sound it made rattled through her head. She could hear it now.

Pop.

Pop.

Pop.

She groaned.

It made her flesh crawl – she knew of nothing else she loathed as much.

As soon as the clock tick-tocked over to six o'clock, May stormed out of the office, ignoring Solidad's chirpy "see you tomorrow". Yeah, yeah, whatever, Solidad. Whatever.

May walked home, as she wanted some air and a little time to think.

She didn't want Solidad's pity – she didn't like it. It was patronising and kind of insulting. Drew's sympathy, however, she loved. It was warm and caring and right now, May would kill for it.

She unlocked the door with a little struggle, but she managed to open it.

And, of course, what was she greeted with?

Not support.

Not even, "May, honey, is that you?"

Not even close.

She was greeted with the rumble of the television and, of course, the popping of gum.

She shuddered.

"Drew, Sweetheart, I'm home!"

"Hey, Babe."

May put her bag on the side table by the door. She wasn't very sure she was fond of the nickname "babe", either.

She walked into the lounge where she saw Drew sprawled across the couch. He got up and pecked her on the lips before sitting back on the couch.

"You know how that guy was killed in Goldenrod? And his mistress?"

"Yeah?"

"They found the crazy bird that did it. Turns out the guy was married to the mistress's sister."

"So... the wife did it?"

"Yeah."

May leaned on the door frame. She couldn't help but agree with the murderess. She didn't know why, but somehow, she felt a little higher spirited. Not that the woman had been caught, no, but that woman had served her revenge.

Something – she wasn't sure what it was – reminded her to get her husband's sympathy about her horrible day at work.

"Drew, Sweetie?"

"Yeah?"

"I had a real bad day at work." She pouted.

_Pop_. "Uh. What happened?"

So she told him. Although his eyes burned with concern, his constant popping didn't.

"Drew... _you pop that gum one more time_..."

He grinned mischievously and, _pop_.

She growled deeply. Ripping his gun off the wall, May fired two shots.

When she looked at Drew, she saw his brains and blood splattered all over the wall and a little on the couch.

May sighed in relief. All that hideous, vulgar popping. Over. She laughed in... satisfaction.

His silence was more comforting that his sympathy. And she loved it.

...

What do you think? I liked it. Not as much as the 'prologue', if you will, but for a first proper chapter, I think it was okay.

Comment, please!

Next up is "Six", which is Paul and Dawn. I think I'll like that one, too. (/._.)/


	3. Six

Blah blah author's note blah blah I'm late blah blah I'm sorry blah blah.

Blah next chapter blah b-blah enjoy.

* * *

><p>I sipped my wine as I watched the television. They were dragging a brunette into the back of a police van. It was reported that she'd shot her husband.<p>

I smirked, "Poor sucker."

I swallowed another sip of wine before the doorbell rang.

My brows furrowed. It was way to early for Paul to come home... "Coming!"

I opened the door and saw an oddly familiar face. At the door stood a woman with pink hair and eyes to match. I'd met her at the same party I'd met Paul.

"Can I help you?"

"Dawn Ikari?"

I nodded. "That's me."

A woman with dirty blonde, waist-length curly hair spoke. "We need to speak to you. May we please come in?"

I nodded. "Sure..."

Three other girls followed the pink-haired girl and the blonde. One had shiny black hair, another with dark, thick brown, and the last had gingery hair.

They all sat on the leather couch I was nestled comfortably on moments ago. I remained standing, my arms folded.

"What's the problem, ladies?"

"Well, see, Dawn –"

I raised my hand up to cut off the ginger. "Hang on. What're your names? And how to you know mine?"

The woman with pink hair nodded. "I'm Ursula."

The blonde spoke next. "Delilah."

The ginger sighed. "Jude."

The raven-haired woman. "Kylie."

And finally, the brunette. "Mattie."

I nodded. "Right. But how to you know my name?"

Kylie responded. "That's the beginning of our story."

I raised an eyebrow. Jude ran a hand through her, distressed. "Look, just listen."

My eyebrow lowered itself.

Slowly.

Ursula sat forward. "Do you remember me, at all?"

I nodded. "Vaguely."

"Right. I met you at a bar, once. I served you. Remember, I kept giving your... husband-" the word came out uneasily, "-a dirty look when he kept trying to hit on you?"

Oh! I remembered, now! Yes, yes. I knew Ursula looked familiar.

Mattie's voice broke her thoughts. "We're here to speak to you about Paul."

My eyebrow climbed its way up my forehead again. "Yes?"

They all looked unevenly at each other, as if nervous. Delilah swallowed. "He's... he's been unfaithful to you, Dawn."

...

...

...

"Wh-what? What do you mean?"

"Your husband. He's not been... I mean, he's not... he's..."

"He's cheating on you." Jude said, looking down at her hands in her lap. She was eyeing her wedding ring.

I sat. "How do you all know this?"

Ursula, Delilah, Mattie, Kylie, and eventually Jude all looked up at her.

"He's a Mormon."

I blinked.

Jude looked down at her wedding ring again. "Dawn... I just found out, too. I know it hurts, but-"

"It hurts? It _hurts_? He told me he was single! Two years ago! In the bar!"

Ursula shook her head. "That's why I kept giving him dirty looks, Dawn. We were married a month before."

"Why didn't you stop him?" I asked, enraged.

"I thought he was just flirting, trying to make me jealous, but then Kylie came and found me and told me. And we found Delilah, Jude and Mattie. And now you."

Delilah added, "And we're trying to find another woman. Cassidy."

I shook my head. A Mormon? What? No, he couldn't... he said he loved me...

"Dawn, I know it's difficult to understand. I get it. I really do. But we don't know what to do about it."

"We had this idea to make him choose one of us." Kylie said, scratching her chin, thinking. "But we couldn't think of anything else."

I snorted, blinking back tears. "I've got an idea. I'll call you when I'm done."

"What? You're telling us to leave?"

I nodded. "My house. Now out."

After leaving her number, Kylie got into the car and drove off with the other four.

_Single, he told me,_ I snorted. _Single. My. Ass._

I felt like I'd just been smashed with a glass bottle, like I'd been killed.

Killed... killed...

I thought back to the brunette who shot her husband.

I really couldn't help but smirk.

* * *

><p>"Darling, I'm home!"<p>

I wondered what his pet name was for Delilah. Or Kylie. Or Jude.

_Probably all the same, so he doesn't forget whose who..._ I sneered. I sighed, calming myself.

"Evening, Paul!" I chirped, bouncing out of the kitchen and placing his dinner onto the table.

"Mm, smells good."

I nodded and beamed. "Thanks!" I leaned up and kissed his cheek before heading back into the kitchen to get his usual drink. I picked up the small little container from under the sink and poured it in his drink. Stirring it so that he couldn't see the extra contents, I listen to him ask for his drink. "It's coming, Sweetie!"

I placed it in front of him and sat at the opposite end of the table, my usual spot.

He took a sip.

"So, Paul, how was work?"

Sip. "Fine. Boring, you know. The usual."

We ate a little and he drank some more. There wasn't much more of his drink left, and he started to look confused and sick.

He groaned. "My head hurts..."

"Maybe you need a drink, Sweetie."

He nodded and drank the last of it.

"Paul?"

He groaned in response.

"Do you love me?"

He nodded. "Why?"

"I met a few girls, today."

He groaned again.

"Mhmm. Kylie, Jude... Mattie, Delilah... and Ursula. They were talking about another woman, too. Cassidy."

His eyes widened. "D-dawn..."

I giggled, swiping my pinkie finger around the inside of the glass, collecting a very small amount on my fingertip.

"Nighty-night, Paul."

He convulsed and I licked my pinkie before stepping over him and placing the arsenic back into the cupboard. Picking up the phone, I calmly rang and told Kylie what I'd done.

After hanging up and stepping over her now dead husband, I skipped into the living room and turned the television back on. The brunette – who's name apparently was May Hayden – was finishing up an interview with the press.

"Yeah, I did it. But, if you had been there... I mean, if you had heard it... I betcha you would've done the same!"

Yes, May. I think I would've. I think I would have, indeed.

* * *

><p>Wow. I liked it a lot :3<p>

A really dark side of Dawn.

Blah blah comment blah blah thank you blah. Blah smiley face blah.


	4. Squish

Gah, it's been so long ._.

Okay. Um. Exam time again, joy. Maths and English, I think. So I got off easy. Yay for being in year eight xD.

So, I know you're all Pokemon people, but do any of you listen to Wizard Rock? Ministry of Magic, Harry and the Potters, Spattergroit... MC Kreacher? Anyone? Okay. Right then.

The death of Ash Ketchum. Fun.

* * *

><p><em>I rolled over, placing my hand on my secret lover's chest, grinning.<em>

"_I better get going, Mist." he said._

"_You sure you don't want another round, Babe?" I asked, looking up at him._

_He nodded. "Yeah, I still have a couple of blocks to go."_

"_Alright. I'll see you tomorrow?"_

"_Absolutely."_

_So he redressed himself and left. I laid in bed a little longer, comparing my lover to my husband._

_Dear, sweet Ash, gentle and loving._

_Passionate, heated Rudy, almost a little violent but oh so thrilling._

_Which would you pick in the bedroom? I know who I'd pick, that's for sure._

_I got up, dressed and changed the sheets. I made my way down into the lounge, where I flicked on the TV._

_Police were taking a girl into the back of a van. She was very calm about it. She was inspecting her nails. A reporter called out a question which sounded like "Why'd you do it"._

_She looked up, her blue eyes staring at the reporter. Casually, she responded, "Had six other wives. One of those Mormons, you know?" She then calmly got into the van._

_She was eerily calm and casual about it. I blinked. Interesting._

_An hour later, I heard the front door slam shut as I was cutting up the chicken for dinner._

"_Ash?"_

_The noise of keys being thrown down angrily was my response. _

"_Ash? Ash! Ash honey, what's wrong?"_

_He stormed into the kitchen, fuming._

"_You've been screwing the milkman!" he cried indignantly._

_I was silent for a moment, before slicing the chicken once more. "You're crazy."_

"_You've been screwing the milkman!" He yelled._

_Stab one, in his stomach._

_Stab two, again in his stomach._

_Stab three, his shoulder._

_Stab four, his side._

_He fell to the ground, coughing and spluttering, crying out in pain._

_Stab five, his other side._

_Stab six, his stomach once more._

_Stab seven, his other shoulder._

_Stab eight, his stomach again._

_Stab nine, his chest._

_He was shuddering and crying out in pain._

_One more, for good measure, I decided._

_Stab ten, his heart._

"...And, that's how I ended up here." I finished, adjusting my horrid orange uniform.

"Fuck. Don't wanna get in your way, that's for sure." May chuckled, smoking a cigarette.

Lyra nodded. "I wonder how he found out you were screwing the milkman."

"That's the thing. I was never sleeping with the milkman."

Dawn arched an eyebrow, looking up from filing her nails. This was the girl I'd seen on TV.

"But you said you were getting fucked blissfully by that Rudy guy?"

I nodded. "Oh, I was. But see, Ash was always a moron." I smirked. "So he was wrong. I wasn't screwing the milkman at all. I was fucking the mail man."

The four of us erupted in laughter.

_Maybe life here in prison wouldn't be so bad_, Misty thought, taking a drag from May's cigarette.

* * *

><p>Well, I like it.<p>

Hope you did, too!

Review, please! Favourite, too? Maybe?

Love, Holly x

(NEXT UP: KENNY/LEONA/BARRY)


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